The Blog Carnival….a group of jewelers get together via the web, once a month, to post on a topic that has to do with jewelry. It’s a fun way to hear different opinions from wonderful artists. Hope you’ll visit their sites and read their great blogs. Please post a comment or two. It’s always great to know who is reading and your shared thoughts.
Motivation: What’s inspiring to you about designing and working with jewelry? What excites you enough to create a new item?
This is a difficult blog for me. I suppose this one touches a deep nerve that I have actually been trying to get clear about recently. I have gobs of ideas and a huge desire to create. Motivation is not something I struggle with. However, I don’t often create anything.
It’s like being a kid that works in a candy store and never getting to sample the goods. As you unpack the candy and put it away you get many ideas of what you can do with it, what it would taste like, how it would feel in your mouth, etc. Fantasy and imagination can be a huge tease. The sad fact is you aren’t allowed to eat any of it. So you never get to experience it under joy. It just becomes work and perhaps a little bit of torture. Then you sneak a piece, when you not supposed to, so emotionally you can’t really enjoy it even when you get to sample a piece. There is perhaps guilt, stress, and other emotions that become tied to the act of “enjoyment”.
It’s even a little more torture when I discover new materials to carry at Whole Lotta Whimsy. As the chief buyer for WLW, I look through catalogs outside the jewelry industry looking at every picture asking myself what could be done with that material? How could I use that tool for a technique? The materials motivate me to want to experiment. I get ideas on how to use the material, things to create with it, but alas I’m never presented with the luxury of time to actually play with them.
For as long as I can remember, I have put others in front of my own needs to create. I fantasize about being able to make things to create from that place of joy and abundance. I used to think it was about time management, but it’s not. I manage time quite well. Perhaps it’s that ultimately I don’t feel worthy enough to put my desires first before a customer, my family, or my company.
It seems the only time that I have made art is when there is a deadline for a book, a magazine, an exhibit. I of course have put other work in front of these deadlines. So my creation has come from a place of lack as it’s always under extreme stress and deadline. I’ve learned to create under stress instead of joy and play. So when I think of going to create a new piece it stirs up some negative feelings which “negates” the joy. I also think about all the work that needs to be done, my to-do list, and feelings of guilt take over.
I have been working on myself this year. Trying to clarify my goals and figure out what is most important to me. With that came the realization that I really need to find time for myself, which includes creating in a state of joy. For it to be, as one of my very wise friend, Robert Dancik says, “play”. I’m motivated to play. Now the question is can I let myself have some play time and be okay with letting something go or delegating it to someone else. I think I’m ready. So I’m hiring an assistant and two more employees at WLW to help spread the tasks to someone else. It’s time.
I hope this blog has helped someone else who might be in the same place to know that you too are worthy of taking time for yourself. We artists are pretty darn good at taking care of others before we take care of ourselves. I am good at teaching others but not so good at following my own advice. Take some time for you. You too are definitely worthy!
*Thanks to my good friend
Lora Hart for pointing out that I am worthy. I am grateful for such good friends!
Check out these other carnies:
Wonderful post Tonya! Nice to know that there are others out there too struggling with “time for yourself”. Glad to hear you’ve got some additional helpers on the way with WLW. You can only juggle so much and for so long before things start to fall if you don’t allow someone to step in to help.
I’m happy to have found your blog, and have added it to my list of blogs to read on my blog site so I can keep up with you easier!
You are looking fabulous by the way!!! Love Ya!!!
~Marsha
Oh Tonya, what a great blog. Being a business owner is not always the best thing for creativity. That is one of the reasons I let our gallery go when our lease was up. All I did was promote other artists and made stuff on a deadline for the annual holiday show.
You are MOST worthy.
Thank you so much for sharing you inner feelings. It is easy to relate to them and pleasant to see that you are listening to them. We all should do more of that.
Life should not be all business and no play. And art should be play not all business.
Tonya, I am so glad to have read your post. It is EXACTLY the place I am in right now too. I just wish I did have the luxury to hire someone to take on some of the work. But hopefully some of your inner resolve will spark the same in me! Thanks